alright at one point on frankenstein the creature mentions he took one of victor's shirts when he fled the lab and (presumably) wore it. knowing that the creature is seven/eight feet tall, this leaves us with two options:
1. mary shelley just forgot that she gave the creature inhuman proportions
2. victor is built like a brick shit house
I don't know which bothers me more
Have you considered the idea of The Creature wearing a crop top?
okay valid
Also, if you get the in-joke here, ten points!
Holy sheet, I never expected this post to blow up like it did, wow! LOVE all the comments, ha ha!
Also, if you get the in-joke here, ten points!
I saw a tweet about contrapposto, so here’s a post about the lesser-known but equally valid postos that everyone forgets about.
if you tried to explain this to a person from the 1500s they would try to kill you
Entirely for @hellmandraws‘ amusement, and to defend America from the charge of being “weakass babies” I’m going to liveblog eating licorice candy.
okay first of all, the packaging. there’s a cartoon monkey ecstatically making love to a candy monkey. Perhaps an indicator of the orgasmic bliss I’m about to experience. 12/10. my hopes, like the people who designed this bag, are obviously very high
the candy looks like rocks and not jaunty little monkeys. huge disappointment. I had to recreate stonehenge to rally my flagging spirits. 2/10
First taste: wow this is salty! I think I actually like this. I love anise so I’m pretty sure this is going to be a trip to flavortown. 8/10 me rn:
OMG THE SALT WORE OFF IT’S SO MUCH WORSE THAN I EVER IMAGINED.
IT’S LIKE EATING A SHOE.
IS THIS CANDY?
IS THIS WHAT MAKES SCANDINAVIANS SO POWERFUL?
I’m chewing and it won’t go away
it’s stuck to my teeth, I’ll be tasting this forever. shards of this will be discovered in my teeth when my body is excavated from an archeological dig tens of thousands of years in the future. somehow the smell has traveled up through my nasal cavity and all I can sense, hear, or experience is licorice. the world is an empty vessel filled with remorse and the cloying smell of decay. I’m at the nadir of my existence. -100/12
somehow, here, standing at the edge of eternity, the darkness that consumed me birthed me anew. I’m not only ready for another candy, I’m eager. I can, nay I must, immediately eat another
oh wow it’s salty! 8/10
this time I’m ready for the salt to wear off.
I WAS NOT READY
the flavor this time was different, and somehow so much worse. instead of the leather of a shoe, it was like eating an entire shoe factory. the industrial rubber of the forklift tires, a hint of diesel as secretive as a volkswagen scandal, a soupçon of hot tin roof, the sweat of non-unionized labor, and a pervasive sense that while we’re all in this together, some of us are more all in this than others. 1/10 throw off your shackles, taste buds
I can’t believe it but I’m into this. I like this. shocked and disgusted with myself, I shove 2 more into my mouth concurrently.
This is the tale of someone who ascended onto another plane of existence and has left us mortals behind to face God himself in a battle of strengths. And Win.
astoundingbeyondbelief
